My Bag of Party Tricks! 6 Ways to Properly Mingle at an Event

It’s about time I brought out my bag of party tricks.

But before I do…I must ask. Do you know how to properly attend a social gathering? You may not know this, but there’s a bit of song and dance when it comes to mingling. I feel like I see people make the same mistakes. Which results in a bad time; offending people; and missing connections.

So in case you get anxiety going to parties where you don’t know anyone (like me!); here are my 6 favorite tips to engaging and escaping party talk. Now let’s get to fluttering my social butterflies!

1. Ask Interesting Questions: “Sooooo…Where are you from? Where do you work? Where do you live?” can be a drag. But follow up these blasé standards with something unexpected and you’ll be heading down best friend alley in no time. “What’s on your bucket list” and “if you had to lose one of your five senses” can really get the convo going. But also weird to bust out initially. If I am meeting someone for the first time, I love to ask…

• “So I know we just meet, but I’d love to get your advice. I am taking a friend out for dinner tomorrow. Been to any good restaurants recently?”
• “How do you know…(the host of the party, a person they came with or who they were talking to earlier)”
• How did you and your significant other meet?

2. Give People a Get Out of Jail Free Card: Is the person you are speaking with looking around? Are they not asking questions back? Do they keep messing with their phone? This means they aren’t interested. And more importantly, not worth your time. So do yourselves both a favor and give them an easy out. As soon as I spot these social cues, I  wrap up my thought and say one of the following…

• “Well, it was lovely meeting you. We will definitely have to catch up later!”
• “Well, I won’t keep you. I know we both have plenty of mingling to do!”
• “I must not be selfish and share you with the rest of the party. Let’s mingle shall we?”

3. Mind Your Manners: If separated, we love returning to our circle of friends. It’s comfortable and easy. Especially when speaking with someone you aren’t particularly fond of. But you must be polite or you can give off a bad first impression. You never know when you’ll run into that person again. And you never know, who they know. So make yourself look good to everyone! I always be sure to…

• Look at the person in the eye when conversing.
• Not look around.
• Not text or scroll on my phone mid-conversation. This is tough for me!
• If the person asks you a question, ask them the same question back! It makes you appear selfish and self-centered if you don’t. I see this scenario frequently:

“How are you?”
“I’m good.”
Awkward silence……

For goodness sake! Ask how the person is doing right back!

• Not just walk away. I cannot believe people do this, but they do it all the time. Just say “excuse me for a moment” or “do you mind holding that thought? I’ll be right back.” before taking off.
• If you find yourself looking around or on your phone, immediately pause and say “I apologize for being aloof! Someone is meeting me here so I am keeping my eyes peeled. Or “I am expecting an important email, so I am sorry I keep looking at my phone.”

4. Introduce People Properly: This can make or break great dialogue and helps keep the talkin’ movin’!

• If someone is inching into your conversation, immediately include them. It makes everyone more comfortable. Plus you can stay on your interesting topic. I love to say something to the effect of “Hi Mary. Paul was just telling me about his vacation to Aruba. Go on, Paul…”
• If introducing two people, take it a step further than saying names! I adore sharing a ti bit both parties have in common. For example:

“Abby, this is Brittney. She has a two year old little boy too!” OR “Kit, this is Erin. She is a Chicago blogger as well. You two must have a great deal in common!”. Not only does this give the two something to talk about but it’s a secret opportunity to slink away if needed.

5. How To Get Out of a Conversation: You know when you get stuck with someone that will not stop talking? You can’t even get a word in! These are my techniques for getting off the hook but still being polite:

• Try to discretely catch someone else’s eye and bring them into the conversation. That way it’s less intense! Hard to do, but can be done. “Hey Sarah! Get over here! Joe was just telling me about his trip to the dentist.”
• Change the topic to get them off their rant. Now you have an opportunity to say something to the likes of the below…
• “Hey looks like our drinks are empty. Want to get a re-fill with me at the bar?”. If they oblige, be sure to post up near other people you or they know. You can now strike up another conversation with different people, then shimmy your way out. Note: I think this is a classier way to handle than saying “I am going to grab a drink at the bar” and then leave mid-conversation.
• OR “I need to get a re-fill. Can I get you one?” If they say yes, be sure to drop off their drink but keep it moving. Like rolling out of a moving vehicle.
• “You know what, I apologize, but I have to use the restroom. Any idea where I can find the ladies room?”
• “Hey there’s Paul. Any interest in moseying over there to hear about his trip? He just got back from Aruba!”

Equipment Blouse || Henry and Belle Flared Jeans {old but similar here} || Vera Bradley Emma Satchel in Blush || MICHELE Watch Jelly White || Banana Republic Green and Blue Bracelet {old} || C. Wonder Earrings {RIP C. Wonder!} || Christian Dior Wedges {similar here}

6. Bonus Tips For Good Measure:

• Open ended questions (versus yes or no questions) lead to more engagement.
• Don’t talk about yourself. Seriously, nobody cares.
• Smile and nod. It shows you’re listening.
• Recipricate the same questions back. Unless you want to take the conversation in an new direction.
• My favorite resources for staying current on events and fascinating topics are as follows:
  • The Skimm
  • Cup of Jo – Every Friday she shares the most thought provoking articles and links around the web.
  • Corals and Cognacs – Similar to the above but from a younger point of view. Every Friday as well!

So now that I’ve dished on the tricks. I must gush about the bag. Isn’t she pretty? Vera Bradley has been killing it lately. This pink little lady gets all the compliments which makes for a killer icebreaker! And their new leather line is popping up everywhere.

And FYI I still wear my favorite silk blouse every single week. Although pricey, an Equipment top is a timeless investment. Consider it a good friend that makes for effortless conversation and always a good time.

So now it’s your turn! Any socializing tips of your own? What mistakes do you see people make? And how do you get out of bad convos? This is the toughest in my opinion!

Maya, thank you for snapping these photos! That camera and you are a dream boat.

And a huge thank you to Odalisque for doing my makeup. Can you do this every day? Love you long time?