While pregnant
Get The Look: pink sweater {shop more mock sweaters here} // AG flare jeans {shop more flare jeans here} // leopard coat {Zara old}
Life Update
Oh my goodness!
Penelope is eight months, going on NINE. Like WHAAAAT?! Wasn’t she just born yesterday?
She gives us the biggest toothy grin whenever she sees us. Oh and talk about an ATTITUDE. This girl is already smirking when she gets her way. Just love this little girl with all my heart. Life is SO much sweeter with her in it.
It’s crazy to say, but it took a full eight months for the whole “mom thing” to feel normal to me. Before, I had to think so hard about EVERYTHING. Now I just wake up and go!
But it wasn’t always like this. Oh nooo.
When others are authentic with their struggles it helps me. So I wanted to give a vulnerable update as to how I’ve handled motherhood. I’ve definitely had my fare share of trials and tribulations.
So if you’re a new mom, about to be a mom or hope to be a mom one day {bookmark this!}, I hope my story helps you feel normal.
Scroll below to learn what my biggest struggle was {it took me by surprise!} and what I’ve found the most helpful so far. Mamas – we have to take care of US.
What It’s Like Becoming A Mom {in a nutshell}
So the cliches are true. Your days are full of sleepless nights, spit up, bottles, laundry piles…blah, blah, blah.
But emotionally, it’s NOT AT ALL what I expected.
Here’s my best analogy…
Changing diapers, getting up in the middle of the night, figuring out how to put a car seat in the car….this is NOT HARD.
It’s the CONSISTENCY and LONGEVITY that’s tough.
Imagine you’re told to go to a work out class. No big deal right? It’s challenging but doable.
Now lets say you have to attend that same work out class THREE times a day. Every. Single Day. For the next eighteen years.
And you CANNOT MISS ONE TIME. Not even once. Yeah…
LET THAT SINK IN. That’s motherhood.
Rain. Shine. Happy. Sad. You have to show up. Once this concept fully seeps into your brain…that’s when the true mind shift of what becoming a mom is begins.
My Biggest Struggle
For me, my hardest time {emotionally} took place around month five and six. The honeymoon phase was OVER.
Reality set in. If I were to be a stay at home mom, it meant letting go of my social media business that I spent YEARS building. I originally thought I’d keep one or two clients. But with a new baby, you’re lucky if you can write an email!
On top of it, I was no longer mentally stimulated or challenged. This is very personal for everyone, but for me to be happy I need this. I wasn’t feeling like myself and I WANTED the BEST OF BOTH worlds. But I knew I couldn’t.
This deep frustration caught me by surprise. Usually it’s the other way around! And because it was unforeseen, I didn’t know how to deal with it. I felt selfish. I just remember some days where I would count down the minutes till Penelope’s bed time. Then the waves of guilt fell over me.
There’s nothing specific I did, but each day got easier as I found my footing. I recognized I was mourning the loss of my previous life {even though all I wanted was a baby}. And guess what? THAT IS OKAY. You can be EXACTLY where you want to be and need time to adjust all at once.
Now? I’m happy to report I’m solely blogging and it’s been the BEST mom job I could ever ask for. I take on bite sized projects when I can and get to still interact with adults. I also get to work from home and spend everyday with Penelope.
I don’t want the brevity of the above paragraph to be mistaken as “simple” or “easy”. It’s not like “oh I started a blog and now I do it ALL!” It’s taken me YEARS to get here and my mom helps out once a week. I never thought I’d be solely blogging. But it’s turning out to be a great business decision. Funny how life works out sometimes right?
How I Got My Groove Back {and new mom advice!}
Balance! It doesn’t exist. And I definitely don’t have it down. But here are a few thing’s that help me make time for myself – and ultimately be a better mom! I get everyone has different circumstances but even if just one of these things helps, it’s worth it!
- Gym Child Care. I admit I go to my gym to shower, work, and drink smoothies more than I go to exercise. Ha! But guess what? The ability to take 1-2 hours for myself to get sh*t done? It gives me LIFE. This little breather is especially helpful when Sean’s traveling for work. Penelope LOVES it too. She gets stimulation I can’t give her at home by playing with different toys, and seeing other kids! If you can swing this, DO IT. We did the math {granted there are limitations}, but the monthly gym fee + child care is so much more affordable than a babysitter.
- Stop Googling and ASK YOUR FRIENDS. Your mama friends can give you the down and dirty reality SO MUCH FASTER and thorough than the internet. One night I spent an hour Googling something when Sean said, “Nicole, just text your mom friends!” Sure enough, they gave me the perfect answer in one second flat.
- Before you have your baby, purge your entire home. Empty shelves, cabinets and storage will help you keep a cleaner home. Babies come with so much stuff! While pregnant, I’d clean out one room a month.
- Stock up on necessities. I’m talking a couple months worth of dish soap, laundry detergent, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, tooth paste, paper towels, etc. When you bring that baby home you want to spend every second cuddling and learning. So not having to worry about the mundane helps in this time!
- Have a few nice clothing items that fit your body NOW. Whether you’re pregnant, post partum, still working off the baby weight…This helped me feel put together and like a human. I lived in Spanx before and after Penelope was born.
- Register for THIS. I PROMISE.
- Videos instead of books. I found the online video courses – like Taking Cara Babies and Feeding Littles – are so much easier to digest than books! No more second guessing yourself either. I would watch them on my iPhone while nursing. Plus dads seem to like this format better as well! Sean never read one book.
- If you sit on the floor, you can nurse AND put your makeup on // blow dry your hair// and do lots of other things at the same time. Multi-tasking at it’s finest!
- Time does not make things easier. Practice does. The more you dine out, nurse in public, take the stroller out, travel, etc. the quicker it gets easier. So get it over with and just practice, practice, practice!
- When you’re ready for a babysitter…
- Book the first time when you don’t have something important. It’s less pressure. You can take your time familiarizing the sitter with your baby, their routine and home. Versus if you’re rushing out the door to make an appointment or meeting.
- Start small. We were so nervous having someone else watch Penelop! But we knew it was good to have a back up and start spending some time outside baby. To begin, Sean and I had our sitter meet us at the mall. Hear me out! We ate at a restaurant on the property, while she strolled Penelope around the stores. Sean and I got to have an actual date (outside of the house), the sitter got to shop and P would sleep. If anything were to happen or if she got hungry, she was just a minute away!
- My favorite mom Facebook Group is Hello Adams Family. The members are classy, normal mamas and I’ve found it to be a fabulous resource.
- Schedule help the same time every week, month, etc. This sounds like it’s not a big deal but it IS. When Penelope was first born, my mom would pick random days/times to help out. I was and still am SO thankful. But it was tough for me to plan things in advance without asking her! The same thing was happening with Sean. Before he was just helping out when he could on random things. But I still didn’t have time for myself and I couldn’t figure our why. When Sean took over a designated task, I could plan that day/night for me. For example – he’s in charge of bath time every night now and takes Penelope and Larry to get coffee every Saturday morning. Now I don’t stress that the dishes didn’t get done because I know I have bath time to complete it. Now that my mom comes every Tuesday I’m able to schedule meetings without having to ask her! It’s just a given.
I hope you guys found this helpful! And not scary! This has truly been the most magical eight months of my life and every month just gets better and better! If you ever have any questions or tips of your own, leave them on this Instagram post and I’ll get back with you!
Photos by Chicago Andrea Creative
